Friday, June 26, 2009

For Josh.


June 8th 2002

I love my husband. I know, if I was just meeting him for the first time, I would still be just as attracted to him. Just as fascinated by what he has to say. He is truly besides our 3 babies my favorite person on the planet. He is the realest person I have ever known.
When we met 8 years ago I was just finishing high school. I literally had just graduated a couple days before we met. We did EVERYTHING the wrong way the way everyone tells you not to do it!

June 8th 2009
We were inseparable from our first date on. A couple months later we decided to move in together. My Mom was so upset, she thought at any minute I would come home. At the time I was 18 and he was 20. We decided to get engaged about 4 months later. We drove over to my Mom's house to tell her in person. To make it official! Thinking back now, how young we were, I was just 18!! We hadn't even known each other 6 months, neither of us had jobs at the time or were in school. I can't believe they all didn't laugh in our faces. When we got married almost a year to the day we met. Nobody thought it would last!

Well, we made it. Or are making it. I know no relationship, no marriage is perfect. I believe in taking each day as it come. I believe in love, and in compromise, and most of all I believe in letting the little things slide! Freaking out when things don't go exactly as you want, or arguing when you don't agree JUST to get your way are the biggest mistakes I've made! It took me so long to learn to pick and choose my battles wisely. It took me forever to learn that! These are just a few things I love about Josh...

He is the best listener. When you tell him something, he really hears it. He gets it.
He never puts on an act, he is what he is. Nothing more, nothing less. If you are an insurance salesman, working at Burger King, a bank executive, or a homeless person on the street. He will treat you the exact same. He has so much respect for EVERYONE. He cares REALLY cares about people. And wants to make a change. He is such an awesome Dad. The love he has for his kids amazes me. He's so patient with them. He also helps with them as much as I do. changing them, feeding them, giving them a bath. And he LIKES to do it! I'm so grateful he hasn't had a regular 9-5 job so he has had the chance to spend so much time with the kids! He is such a hard worker! He puts all his energy and focus, into whatever he's doing. He has taught me so much about myself! Not to sell myself short. Whatever I'm interested in. He will listen and want to learn about it too. He has taught me so much about the nature of people,and what's really important. He is truly my hero. I love to just hear him talk, and he is the best whistler! Seriously, it's a lost art! He's always singing too. Always, and it makes me happy.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I miss... flashback... not sure where this is going.


I have been missing my sister like crazy since she moved. She's only been gone a couple weeks and it feel like months!! We are trying to plan some last minute things to do before we move at the end of next month. Places we want to see and revisit. I know we will be back, but, I know it won't be the same too. Which is really bitter sweet. Things I "plan" on doing... it's a running joke because I know half of them probably won't happen...

I want to drive into Elizabethton, feed the ducks, take pictures of the covered bridge, and take my kids to the park there. Then maybe eat at Dino's. The down town area is dead, the little ice cream shop across the street is gone. I believe last time I drove by it was a dentist office? Still these are my most cherished memories, and places of being little. I also wanted to drive by my Grandparents home, where I spent practically every weekend and summer of my childhood. But I'll have to see, that might be too much.

We were thinking about going to Dennis Cove and having a picnic. It's so beautiful here. Driving home from Tallahassee I really looked at the mountains for the first time and was in awe of how beautiful they are, right in my back yard. It is so beautiful! Lately every night we have deer come into the back yard and eat off our pear tree. Normally I just see two or three. Last year around April I saw 9! Also we have mint and honey suckle everywhere I will miss how good it smells, and the sounds of the train at night.

When I was 7 and my mom decided to pack up my sister and I and move us to Miami so she could marry husband number two. An architect she had met at a high school reunion.

The wedding was fun, I thought at the time. I got to wear a ridiculously poofy mint colored dress. And got to get my hair done at a beauty salon, where they gave me a french braid with little bits of baby's breath tucked in it. I snuck champagne at the reception and drank a big mouthful on a dare from a 13 yr. old cousin. I liked when the DJ announced my name in the wedding party and then everyone clapped and smiled at me.

I was always a really emotional child, a worrier, fretful, and painfully shy. Being so far away in a new place didn't help things.
I didn't like the rest of our "extended vacation". I hated the iron bars over all the windows of the houses, in our neighborhood. The sandy red dirt, the mountains of fire ant hills, that I was always stepping into. The lizards that darted around on our back porch, and a huge yellow and black spider that had made it's home directly in the middle of my bedroom window outside. it seemed to glow at night I could hardly close my eyes to sleep for starring at it through the glass.

We went through half a dozen babysitters in the 8 months we lived there. A Hispanic, lady who was Catholic, she would always have us pray and would do the sign of the cross before eating. There was a tiny Jamaican woman who could hardly speak to me. But was kind to me when my mom went out of town. She put my hair in tight braids or high ponytails before I would leave for school. There was a 19 year old hispanic girl from our neighborhood who watched us a couple times. We bonded over Rescue 911 being our favorite show. ( Which at 7 I was not allowed to watch but did anyway.) She would say in her thick accent " I always like to watch the shown, then in emergency I know what to do!" She always scared me to death by telling stories of break ins and robberies and near death experiences of all her friends. There was Jody, who was 30 and drove a beat up green Honda. She seemed nice enough until she started helping herself to my Mom's closet when it was nap time for the kids. My favorite was Jeanie, a nice grandma type lady. Who made me think of my own grandma back in Tennessee.

My stepfather drove me to school every morning in his jeep. My school was a big ugly, key lime green colored, stucco building. Something that color you would only see in Florida. My teacher was mean. Mrs. Wall. She had bug eyes, and balls of pit hair, and wore long nylon dresses. My only friends were Nikki, a redhead that lived a street over from us and Christina, who was from Cuba. Christina and I sat together alone at a long lunch table. We both ended up with warm, sour cartoons of chocolate milk. On our first day. We had contests to see who could hold their breath the longest. She would always pinch her nose closed when we started. I never did, I always won.

In school I remember a worksheet being slammed down onto my desk "A D!!" My teacher screamed referring to a test I had taken the day before. I don't remember what else was said. Just that she stood over me yelling, and that she was really tall. I remember on the front was a a picture of a window with a moon shining through and under you were supposed to choose an answer what time of day it was. I sucked back hot tears and my hands worked furiously to erase every wrong answer on the page. The eraser left ugly gray smudges on the paper. I continued to do this and didn't dare look up. Not even when our Spanish teacher came in to take over and do our 30 minute Spanish class. "Emily." She said in a sweet voice, you're not supposed to be working on homework now sweetheart." I immediately broke down and cried so hard my shoulders shook. Mrs.Wall came over and put her hands on my shoulders."She didn't know, yes, it's alright." She said in a sick motherly voice. In a few months I would be leaving.


Less than six months after the I do's, it was over.I remember being told to say goodbye to my Stepfather he was laying in bed, his face was red and his eyes were bloodshot from crying. He said "Remember if you ever need another Dad, I'm here." or something to that effect. Which I could have cared less about. I was thrilled to go home and didn't think anything of him. Those tears were for the loss of my Mom, who looking back I do believe he genuinely loved. Not for the loss of "2 daughters". He would force us to sit at the kitchen table until we ate out nightly dose of squash. He also was found of putting us in the corner as discipline. Once he left my sister standing there so long she peed her pants. In the beginning my mom asked us to call him Dad. which I didn't remember until years later. I missed my own daddy who looked skinny and tired, and sad when we would drive down to see us. He gladly offered Mom whatever she wanted. He was desperate to get us back home. Finally, after reality set in, Mom agreed. He bought our old house back for my mom and sister and I to live in and moved us all back.

We drove back into the mountains, of Tennessee late at night. When I opened my car door to get out the first thing the hit me was the cold, crisp air. I had never smelled anything so wonderful. It was quiet and dark, and the only thing you could hear was a train rushing past us in the distance. This was home. Never had I been so happy to be anywhere in my life.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Birthday Weekend....

This weekend was so busy!! Friday was my 26th Birthday! Josh's Mom had invited me to go with her to get a massage as a birthday present. So we headed to Kingport early so I could do that. It was my first massage experience so I wasn't really sure what to expect. But it was really calming and nice. They have soft music playing and the table which looked like a little bed was heated! She used all these hot stones and oils. lavender and tea tree oil, and hot towels... It was awesome! I told her I held a lot of stress in my shoulders and when she started massaging them I could hear this weird popping noise. I was thinking what IS that?! LOL. She said it was my lymphatic system releasing toxins that were built up in my muscles. I'm sure there was a lot to work out of there!! Anyway... after all that I didn't want to move! But we had to go back to Josh's mom's they took us all out for lunch. Then we came back home and just spent the day hanging out together. Josh got me two beautiful books. One was short stories of Richard Yates. Who I've gotten really into lately and the other was Wally Lamb's latest book. Then He gave me a beautiful butterfly pendant Isabella had picked out at the Blue Plum Festival for me. It was really so beautiful, and she was so proud and excited to show me. It was really such a great day.

Then Saturday we went back to Josh's Moms to have a cookout with the whole family. My parents were there, and Josh's brother and Judy. She made this really yummy marinated basil, lime chicken and grilled vegetables, and cold chinese noodles. It was soooo good!! She even made cakes for each of us. A cheesecake for Josh, and a Texas sheet cake for me. Which if you don't know is the most awesome chocolate cake on the planet! Any chocoholic lovers dream!!! It was so sweet of her, especially because she had been on call all weekend! She had only gotten home a few hours earlier. Later that night we went to Down Home with Dad to hear a band play.

Then..... Sunday we had Josh's Birthday and we celebrated here at the house with just us! Bella got him Scooby-Doo shirt she couldn't wait for him to open. And he loved it! It was such a fun weekend. I feel so loved! It was also so special to spend it with my Dad, after he had been so sick. It really puts things into prospective.

Random Bella quote from this weekend...
"Mommy, why does Jack not have a shirt on?"

Me- "Because he just doesn't want to wear one right now."

"Jack you look like a REAL man!!"

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Playin in a travelin' band..... with Johnny & Cher.

The past few days have been really rainy. Lots of storms. So... we have been hanging out inside most of the time. Yesterday the kids decided to play in the "band" ( bang stuff on the kitchen table) they got a really nice kit of musical instruments from Judy for Bella's Birthday. symbols, wooden spoons, maracas, a triangle, and a tambourine. Also we added Daddy's old harmonica to the mix, that's Jackson's favorite.
We played for a while then I played DJ and played songs. We had to hear Bella's favorite Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves by Chere!! LOL. I don't know where she heard it, but that is HER song. She won't listen to any other Cher. Just that one. And of course Jack, is our Johnny Cash fan. He likes Ring of Fire so we played that about 20 times. Also Rusty Cage came on with Johnny Cash singing it. And Jackson was like "It's Johnny Cash!" one minute into the song! They are so much fun, I'm so glad the both love music so much!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

so many changes...

I feel so completely overwhelmed by all the changes that are happening all at once it seems. Our move in the next few months, my sister moving, my Dad getting sick.

I'm so excited to move but also at the same time feel sad about losing my support system of family I have here now! Luckily Dad is MUCH better home from the hospital and on new medicine that's helping. Josh is gone for at least a week to do work at his Dad's house and Anna left yesterday. So it's just me and the kiddies. We found out today we were not approved for an apartment we were hoping to get in Tallahassee. But it turns out it was really a blessing in disguise because the school district in that part of town is terrible. Please pray and send out positive thoughts that we will find a safe, comfortable place to live. With a good school for Bella!

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6

Friday, June 5, 2009

Be greatful for each beautiful day!

I read this on a bulletin board at the hospital and thought it was really beautiful.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~ Leo F. Buscaglia

The past few days have been really hectic. For weeks now my Dad has having trouble catching his breath. As soon as he would start to fall asleep he would have to sit straight up and would be literally gasping for air. At first his family doctor thought it could have been an allergic reaction to a new medicine he was taking. So he took him off that but it just continued to get worse. I was really worried and begged him to let me just take him on to the er just to get checked. A few nights ago at 3 in the morning it got so bad he finally went in.

We had known for a while he had an irregular heart beat which they are able to treat with medication. But after running more tests and doing an ultrasound they found that his heart was significantly weaker than it was just two years ago. The also did a heart catheterization to check for anything. His arteries were completely clear, no blockage at ALL! Which of course was wonderful news! But afterwords his doctor explained that he did have weakening of his heart and that his heart was only pumping at a 20-25% function.(normal is 55 to 75%). They aren't sure what causeed the weakening but he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Good news is no surgery. Bad news it's a condition he will live with for the rest of his life. It was a really big shock since he had none of the other classic symptoms of heart failure. His blood pressure wasn't high. He is very healthy, eats really well, hardly drinks, doesn't smoke, and exercises. Luckily, we found out when we did. Though it was the last thing any of us expected to hear, things could have been so much worse!! They are starting him on several new medications and a blood thinner. And once his medications are adjusted and his heart rate is where they want it he will be able to go back home! Hopefully early next week. Over the next six months with the new medicine and exercise he should also be able to build the strength of his heart back up. I'm just so glad he will be okay!!

In a few days My sister will be making the move to Iowa, at the same time Josh will be leaving to go to Nashville for a week to do work for his Dad. And my Mom will be going to Florida to visit her sister and for her class reunion. So it's just me and the kiddos! It will be a looong week! Hopefully Dad will be home by then. Please send out prayers and positive thoughts!