Birth Matters

Your birth matters! This video is amazing! It brought me to tears. It was also awesome that many of the couples who chose to home birth were doctors. Spread the word. Women need to know the facts, know the statistics,be aware. Then make a decision that is right for you and your family.

School Days

Here was her first homework assignment. Her about ME poster. We cut out pictures of all her favorite things and glued them on. Hello Kitty, ice cream, doggies, Nail polish, and Mimi. Ha!

Nearly three weeks ago Isabella started school! She did much better than I thought she would. She was supposed to start last year but because the school district was so bad where we used to live we decided to wait and held her back a year. We thought emotionally, socially, she wasn't ready either. Some of her her fine motor skills were lagging and I really wanted the extra time to work with her.

Josh didn't have his first class until late in the afternoon so we were all able to go and take her together. I felt fine until we got right outside her classroom and then it hit me. My eyes welled up with tears which I sucked back because the last thing I wanted was for her to see ME cry. I was scared that she would lose it. She did great though! We found her little cubbie and I helped her put her stuff up then we found her desk and she sat right down and started coloring a worksheet.

Then after lots of hugs and kisses I went out in the hallway with the boys while Josh said his goodbyes. I started tearing up more then Jack started wailing and tears were streaming down his face. "Isabella, I want my sister, I want Isabella!!" I picked him up and cried with him and said "I want Isabella too!"
I actually saw a lot more parents breaking down then kids.
The NEXT day was the really tough one. We didn't get to walk into class and get her settled in. I had to force her into line with her class when the bell rang. I watched her ears turn red and I knew she was crying a little and it broke my heart!!! I wanted to run in and grab her and race home. I seriously thought about going in to check back on her. But instead I went home and looked at the clock about every 3 minutes until it was finally time to pick her up! My baby is growing up! Afterwords she was fine, she was all excited about her music class, and show and tell day. And even met a new friend and they colored together. I can't believe my baby girl is growing up!

so tired!

Beach trip is being postponed... Bella and Josh were sick last week. Josh thought it was just his allergies... then Bella got sick and got a fever. Yesterday I woke up with a sore throat and by the end of the day both the boys had coughs and runny noses sooo... I think we are going to try to go early Tuesday?

Last night was rough Noah was up late, didn't want to sleep in his crib, he felt clammy and was congested. I couldn't find the baby vicks. Josh just held him and gave him ice water and played Jack Johnson for him for an hour. He made a new play list called "sleepy time." For some reason Jack Johnson has put all of them to sleep as babies. Then Bella was up 4 times, at least?? I lost count, she was scared. When she wakes up she stands in the living room and yells until we come get her. She gets scared sooo easily. She won't even go upstairs by herself. I know part of it is just being in a new place. FINALLY at 4:30 she fell back asleep! Then Jack was up at 6:30 along with a very fussy Noah bear. So to keep the boys quiet I let them watch...
BARNEY!!!
Josh can't stand it! Anytime it comes on he immediately turns the tv off. It always makes me think of my best friend from middle school. Whenever I would go over to her house her Mom would have tapes of Barney on for her little sister. Sad thing is I think the episodes they watched were probably that old!

Fun at the beach!

We took our first trip to the beach since moving!! We went to Mexico beach and stayed two nights. It was so much fun!! We couldn't have asked for better weather. The kids had a blast. Bella was a little fish in the water. If we were out of the beach then she was in the water. She also got TONS of shells. Now she wants to make necklaces out of them.. So I'm trying to figure out how to do that. They also had a chance to use their boogie boards Derek's mom had sent them. Bella just floated around on hers. But Jack, kept standing on his and asking me to push him, on his surf board. LOL! It was so cute and funny. Noah liked it too. Josh just held him in the water for a long time and he just laughed and floated around. An awesome trip! We are already making plans to go back to the beach for a day trip Saturday!




The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Noah is now scaling this HUGE chair we have that used to be my Grandpa's. He thinks he's so big. Now, not only does he climb and sit up in the chair. He sticks his feet in the little holes in the back of it and climbs up it! Like a little rock climber. Then he tries to get he blinds so I had to turn it around. I have the funniest video of Jack and Bella sliding down it! When Jack was about Noah's age.

in the sunshine state!

After two days in the car, two nights in motels, and a mini-meltdown we finally made our way to Tallahassee. We drove by our new place to check it out late Monday afternoon. The guy that we were sub-leasing from was still packing up stuff so I knew it wouldn't be totally move in ready. Still, I got nervous when we drove up. We ended up waiting around outside for a few minutes before he showed up. There were mini liquor bottles and trash thrown outside next to the door and aluminum foil taped over the window. Then he let us in... there were huge stains all over the carpet, shot glasses on the kitchen counter and it reeked of smoke. At that point I freaked out and couldn't even really take it in. I thought man we have made A huge mistake! This can't be IT!

I was literally holding back tears and then ended up crying on the drive back to the motel. I spent the next day feeling like my dog had died. It sounds SO selfish and spoiled. I feel embarrassed just thinking about it. But it was just nothing how I had pictured it. then I started thinking about how we have SO much. How lucky we are and how very far we have come. I was already home sick and just SO exhausted from driving. Josh's Mom was so nice she even bought us a new vacuum and took all of us out to eat. Still EVERYONE was on edge and moody and there was lots of family drama. There was all this weird tension that had to do with other things not even related to the move. So it just made the whole mood very weird.. But by the time everyone left Thursday it looked awesome! We got out most of the major stains and aired the place out and the kids loved having a house with stairs and a bathroom that they both can share upstairs.
I really love it now. It's silly how attached you can get to the idea of things. I guess after living out in the middle of nowhere in the country any move is going to be a big adjustment. Also, Josh's Step mom was awesome and made beautiful curtains for Bella's room and downstairs. So sweet of her! We are just a couple minutes from Bella's school. We already took the kids out to play on the playground there. And Bella was so excited. I can't believe my baby will be in school in just two weeks!! We are making the most of the next couple weeks, and are going back to Mexico Beach for a couple days tomorrow!

We also went to Lake Ella, and it was really beautiful. The kids loved all the
turtles.

On another note Noah bug is walking!! He officially took his first steps the day after his first Birthday but just yesterday and today is really on the move!

What a Difference A Year Makes

My littlest baby, sweet baby Noah turned one today. This past year has gone by so quickly! I have enjoyed every minute of cuddling him, nursing him, holding him and smelling his sweet baby smell. Not that I didn't with my two older kids. But, I guess with your first you are so ready for them to get to the next stage. To reach that milestone. You can't wait for them to crawl, then walk, then talk! I realize how precious that first year is, and how it passes by in a flash. I had no problem getting up every couple hours to nurse. I pretty much stayed holed up in the house in my sweatpants and nursing bra for nearly two weeks after he was born and just nursed him and held him.


July 21st 2008 started like any other day. I was 10 days shy of my due date and absolutely miserable. I was so big and uncomfortable, I couldn't sleep longer then 2 or 3 hours at a time. I would normally wake up around 4 or 5 and then would take a nap later in the morning. It was too hot to even be outside so I stayed inside most of the day. Late that morning I forced myself off the couch and into the shower and some how managed to shave my legs. Josh was finishing up with his classes for the day and called to see if I wanted anything from dairy queen for lunch. Of course, I was pregnant! He brought me a chili dog which I devoured then as I got up to use the bathroom I thought I felt something. Now I think it was more than likely my water breaking. Which had never happened on its own before. But after going to the bathroom since it was only a small wet spot. I though I had peed on myself and didn't think much of it. I was hot, bored and going stir crazy so I decided to take Isabella with me over to my Mom's for a visit. She only lived about a 15 minute drive from our house. Just a few minutes into the car ride I thought what felt like a contraction. I blew it off as being a stomachache from the greasy lunch. But they were consistent I had at least 3 in the car. I told my Mom as soon as we walked in I THOUGHT this could be it but I was going to wait around a few minutes to see. Over the next 10 minutes I had two really strong contractions. I knew instantly, this was it! Noah was coming TODAY! I called Josh and told him I was having pretty strong contractions about every 5 minutes and that he should get our bag and get jack ready to go. So we could leave for the hospital as soon as I got back to the house. My Mom followed us out to the car, as I sat down another contraction hit and I had to stand back up in the driveway until it was over. The look on my Mom's face was priceless. "Are you sure you want to drive?" Why don't you just let me take you home?!" "I'll be fine." I said It will just take a few minutes to get home." The contractions were stronger and now about every 4 minutes as I drove down the interstate towards our house. I was having to breathe through them. Isabella sat quietly in the back seat and watched me. "Mommy, why are you blowing?" "It makes my tummy feel better." When I got home it was 4 o'clock about an hour had passed since I had felt my first contraction. We got everyone in the car. I went back up to the house to get the exercise ball and the camera. At this point I was feeling nervous, and I just wanted to get to the hospital. It was a BEAUTIFUL bright, sunny day. When we drove. The kids were so excited in the back seat. They knew Noah was coming! Josh put on a mixed cd he had made and Led Zeppelin's Rain Song came on.

It is the springtime of my loving - the second season I am to know.
You are the sunlight in my growing - so little warmth I've felt before.
It isn't hard to feel me glowing - I watched the fire that grew so low.

It is the summer of my smiles - flee from me Keepers of the Gloom.
Speak to me only with your eyes. It is to you I give this tune.
Ain't so hard to recognize - These things are clear to all from
time to time.

It was so beautiful! It was the first time I'd ever heard it.Now every time I do it brings tears to my eyes, I think of the day Noah was born.

We dropped the kids off and then headed to the hospital at this point we had only been in the car maybe 15 minutes. I was getting stronger contractions, I couldn't talk on the phone to my sister and had to hand it off to Josh. "This is just really intense!" I pressed my cheek against the car window and tried to do breathing through another contraction. "You're having another one?" Josh asked. At this point I wasn't able to time them. They were 2 minutes apart. When we got to the hospital I felt relieved, we walked right back to a nurses station in labor and delivery. half a dozen nurses stood around talking. One finally led us to our room. A not so sunny, elderly lady who seemed not SO thrilled to be there. I changed and got on the monitor. The nurse left and sent Josh to the lobby to fill out paper work. The contractions were still every couple minutes. I stood up, laying down wasn't going to happen. I bent over and instinctively bit the blanket on the bed it hurt SO bad. But then in the next minute it was over! I laughed at myself thinking what would the nurse say if she had walked in and seen me. That's the thing that always surprises me about contractions. Yes they are strong, they are brutal, they are a force and pain that's SO intense!! In one minute you can be in this blinding pain and the next boom, it's over. The pain completely stops, just as quickly as it comes on.

When the nurse came back in the room I asked her if she would please NOT check my cervix until Josh came back. I should have known I was SO close! The idea of her checking me made my skin crawl. I just wanted to be left alone. Josh came back and I tried to rest on the bed while she started through a long list of endless questions. I answered maybe 2? Then I couldn't deal with it, I zoned out through the waves of contractions. I could here myself moaning through them, and blowing through them. She leaned forward at one point to adjust the monitor and I apologized from blowing my rank chili breath in her face. Then a few minutes later, she said" You're going to wear yourself out if you keep breathing that fast!" "Screw you!" I thought I no longer liked her and I kept asking Josh to push harder on my lower back which was now killing me! I was feeling panicked, this is what I wanted, but HOW will I keep THIS up for hours?1! It's just TOO intense!! At this point we had only been there maybe 15 minutes, but my contractions were right on top of each other. The nurse left and again I stood up next the bed. I was talking to Josh, then all of a sudden it felt like a bowling bowl was between my legs. I literally felt the Noah's head move down!! "Josh!" I screamed the baby's head is coming out!" At this point Josh ran out to get a nurse. The same half a dozen who had been at the nursing station were now all packed in my room staring at me. "Help me!" I shouted. Our nurse told me I would have to lay back so she could check me. As soon as she did I instantly began to push. She looked at the nurse next to her. "Break down the bed, and page the Doctor." "The head's right there." At this point the urge to push was undeniable. I grunted and pushed, and it started to burn. "No!" Our nurse shouted. I wanted to kick her in the face. Another contraction hit and I pushed again. I was shocked at the noises that came out of my mouth. Deep primal grunts and groans, I didn't care if the entire labor and delivery staff was hanging out at my bedside to watch. It was way beyond me at that point. another nurse finally came up to me she guided my face to hers and looked at me with the warmest brown eyes and the kindest, smile, like we shared a secret. Just breathe. She said. She breathed in and out and I followed her. She looked right at me and I felt high. She looked like mother Earth, Her voice was so calm and even, her smile was so sure. She smiled and took slow even breaths, I followed and smiled back at her. For a moment the contractions were gone, and the room buzzed. Josh looked on, there were tiny beads of sweat on his forehead. It's funny how the room was filled with all these nurses but she was the only one to stop long enough to actually help. I will never forget her kind, beautiful face. FINALLY after what seemed like hours but it really was no more then a few minutes. The Doctor was there! I pushed 3 times and out came Noah Benjamin. Born at 5:08 pm. Just TWO hours, after my first contraction. He was so perfect! He was so pink and healthy and immediately cried. I cried too. My sweet baby was here!
We did it! He had the sweetest little round face, just a little bit of light hair, and the fattest nursey lips I'd ever seen. Everyone was shocked when Josh ran out to the car to grab the camera, and told everyone in the waiting room I had already had the baby! We had been at the hospital 26 minutes! Later, Jack and Bella came to meet their brother for the first time. Bella was so proud and loved to hold him. Jack said "SHE"S pretty!" and then there were five. I never thought I would be so blessed to have such a big, beautiful family!

celebrations...

I haven't written anything on here in weeks! It's been super busy the past month. In exactly one week we will be driving on our way to Tallahassee!! I can't believe it's almost time to go! The time has just FLOWN by!! We got up really early yesterday, to see all the hot air balloons in Kingsport. The do this every year early in the morning. I guess as sort of an end of Fun Fest? I don't know, I had never been to Fun Fest though I had heard about it. But, I'd never heard of the hot air balloons. We got down town about 7:30 and it was packed!! Tons of people lined the sides of the street, sitting on the curb and it lawn chairs just waiting to watch the balloons go up. It reminded me of waiting for a parade to start. Anyway... I was amazed to see so many people. Especially tons of families with little kids. I wasn't exactly thrilled about getting up at 5:30 so we could be in Kingsport by 7:30 but it really was BEAUTIFUL! The kids LOVED it! We stayed until the very last one was way up in the air. Then we went with Josh's Mom and had breakfast. By 11:00 we were all wiped out and everyone came home and took a looong nap.




Today was Josh's brother's Birthday and Noah's Birthday is in just two days so Josh's Mom had a Birthday cookout for them today. It was also the last time we will all get together before the big move! They got Noah the coolest riding wagon with little seats and doors in it. So cute!! They rode around in the driveway forever. Bella and Jack loved it! Noah was not so sure what to think at first. Then Isabella and Jack got got to practice riding their bikes! The bikes were presents they got last month from Grandma. But, because our driveway is gravel and the road we live off is way too busy with traffic and doesn't have sidewalks they have just kept them to ride at Grandma's house. But, they will be going with us to Florida. We will have sidewalks where we are living.





Also, we got to spend the 4th of July weekend in a cabin in North Carolina. It was so beautiful and the friends that invited us had a little boy who was two. So the kids had so much fun playing with him. This is a view from the back deck...